be still.

I did something drastic this past Sunday. 

"Permanent and forever!" kind of drastic.

I got a tattoo.

My parents resolved themselves to the fact that at 35 years of age there wasn't much they could say in order to prevent it from happening. It may have helped a tiny bit too the fact that my tattoo is written in my daddy's handwriting. 

Let me not jump too far ahead, but... just sayin.'

Now, here's the story.

I have wanted a tattoo since I was a teenager. Growing up I was convinced I knew what it would be (boy, was I wrong), but was never fully convinced it needed to be done. 

Until this last year of my life.

Have you heard of a "life verse?" You know, a specific scripture verse that speaks directly to your heart time and time again until it becomes a part of your very fabric? 

Well, I have one. 

Now I have one. 

I didn't have one until this past year.

Psalm 46:10a-

"Be still and know that I am God."

Confession time.

I am not in any way good at the first part of this verse. 

Websters dictionary defines STILL as:

 "remaining in place or at rest; motionless; stationary:"

 

The whole "Be still" thing... yeah. Not so much. 

I like to go. 

I like noise. I like music. I like laughter. I like voices. 

I like activity. I like action. I like moving.

I like to play and sing and dance.
I have two full time jobs and many others on the side.

See the conflict yet?

Websters also defines STILL as:

 "free from turbulence or commotion; peaceful; tranquil; calm:"

Sounds like a wonderful state of mind, right?? 

You know the old saying, "An idle mind is the devil's playground."?

Yep. That's me. 

My mind goes still? My mind goes.
Very easily. And very quickly. This, for me, can be a dangerous thing.

See the conflict here yet??

Confession time (take 2).

I am also not in any way good at the second part of this verse.

"know that I am God."

Let me clarify.

I KNOW that He is God. He is my Savior. He died for me. He saved me. I KNOW this.

I believe, however, (a personal belief) that the word 'know' in this verse truly means TRUST.

"Be still and TRUST that I am God."

That's harder for me.
He is God. He knows what's best. He works on His time schedule. In His ways.
For His reasons. For His purposes.

When things in life don't go as I feel they should does that trust waiver?

Sure. 

Should it? 

No.

Does it anyway? 

Yes. Most of the time. Yes.

Which brings me to this past year.

I've been through a lot of ups and downs in the last few years of my life. 

This past year, however, this verse has been a constant. Everywhere I go, there it is. 

I see it.

I hear it.

It's whispered to me.

It's spoken to me.

It's painted on a wall.

It's posted on a blog.

It's dangling from keychains.

It's plastered on bumper stickers.

And then came David Arms.

He is a breathtaking painter. 

He paints birds. And eggs. And teacups. And scripture verses. And many other things.

He is amazing.

(Check him out www.davidarms.com)

My parents got one of his paintings several years ago from my aunt and uncle. It's a hummingbird sitting on a perch made of a stick hung up by two strings.
Above the little bird are the words

BE STILL

AND KNOW

It hangs in the family room. I love it.

David says on his website that he paints hummingbirds a lot because "The hummingbird... is perpetual motion. I remember when I first saw a hummingbird still. It was startling. As it can be for us – it can be startling for us to be still. Yet we must."

Wow.

Last year my family had the privilege of visiting David's Gallery Barn in Leiper's Fork, TN. 

I met David. He is such a wonderful and godly man.
And he wears bow ties. :)

I saw the painting again. Even though I've seen it a hundred times on my parent's wall it meant something different to me this time. 

It meant it was time for ME to learn how to be still. 

Time to know that He is God. 

Time to truly know it.  

To trust it.

And believe it.

And live it.

I decided to get that tattoo. 

I now knew that it would be NOTHING like my young adolescent mind had pictured. 

Now I knew it would be words.

be still.

Now, I had to find a font.

My best friend and I searched on a free font website for about three hours one night. We narrowed down a thousand or so fonts to one. Care to guess the name of the font? 

Mighty to Save.

Ummm... ok. Got it.

It doesn't end there.

I texted a dear friend of mine and told her that I was going to do it. She, in her brilliance, said to me, "Cath! You should get your dad to write it! He has AWESOME handwriting." 

This is a true statement. He has awesome handwriting.

He's also my daddy. In the truest form of the word. 

My heavenly daddy gave me a true example of how He loves me in the form of my earthly daddy.

I'm a blessed little girl.

Anyway... I texted my mom and asked her to get dad to write the words be still on a piece of paper and send me a picture of it. 

I followed my request with "all lower case and with a period at the end."

Mom's response was, "Are you planning a Christmas present?" Ha!! She'd later wish so. ;)

Dad scribbled it out quickly, not knowing why, and I got the photo. 

I practically burst into tears. The font my best friend and I had chosen, and the print my father had written were so close to one another I couldn't believe it. A different boldness and daddy's maybe not as crisp, but it was there. 

My font. My daddy's font.

(Perhaps a huge factor in why I was drawn to it begin with and just wasn't aware?)

Mighty to Save

 Daddy

Done.

Then came the Skype conversation where I told mom and dad the whole story. 

It went so much better than planned. They were actually supportive. 

A bit wary, but supportive. 

My dad said he was honored when I told him I wanted him to write it.

When I told them what it would say my mother made a small gasp and elbowed my dad in the ribs. I assumed it was because she had texted me the photo and it was finally all snapping into focus now. 

I was wrong. 

A few days later came my birthday present in the mail. 

Mom and dad had bought me a print of David's BE STILL painting. 

He signed it. 

They had it framed for me. 

It is so beautiful and hangs in my living room. 

When I went home at the beginning of the summer dad wrote it out again.
Very carefully and very perfectly. No pressure, right? :)

I went back down again to Florida this last week
and four dear girlfriends went with me to get it done.

So...

Now...

Ready to see the tattoo??

Here we go!!!

 during- FYI: Lars was wonderful.

a brief glimpse into the event. press PLAY for 15 seconds of awesome.

So now, everyday, my earthly daddy and my heavenly one both provide me with reminders to 

BE STILL

AND KNOW

I'll admit it...

It's still not easy, but I am so much better at it than I was before.

My life verse plays on repeat in my head daily now. 

It's like my theme song. 

Some days it even has its own little melody and harmonies to go right along with it. 

Some days it screams itself at me in order to force me into submission to it.

Other days it speaks gently. 

And softly.

 And I respond.