While the significance of birthdays
does grow a bit stale the older we get, this particular one is
anything BUT stale for me. “Why?” you may ask.
Well, it's simple really... I woke up
this morning and honestly felt a bit like I was glowing.
The juxtaposition from last years
birthday morning is literally night and day. I'll spare any major
details, but last years birthday was awful. I was in a living
situation that made me extremely unhappy, I was not emotionally,
spiritually, or physically healthy and was truly struggling with
myself on pretty much every level that one can feel struggle.
Let's
just say... I cried all day the day I turned 34.
Today, however, I woke up smiling.
Truly. I woke up with a smile on my face. I rolled over and turned
off my alarm song, Robbin Thompson serenading me awake with “It's
Gonna Be a Good Day!” and I grabbed my phone. I was immediately
serenaded again, this time by three squeaky voices on my voicemail
singing “Happy birthday Aunt Caffree! Cha-cha-cha!” My heart.
Right there. Not too long after I got a perfect message from my
bestie and an “I want to sing you the ABC's for your birthday!”
message from my non-blood nephew. My heart. Again. Then a mommy and
daddy serenade. Then a Paw-Paw serenade. A birthday isn't a birthday
in our family until Paw-Paw sings. Off to a pretty great start, huh?
It has only gotten better and better
from there. And I don't just mean because of the circumstances of my
day; the gorgeous weather, the amazing church service, the perfect gift from a precious new forever friend, the perfect
time outside with friends enjoying a delicious meal on the patio of a
beautiful restaurant, the multiple times I was stopped and told how
adorable my dress is, the wonderful phone call from my brother (who happens to be across an ocean), the fact that I am leaving my house soon to go
enjoy fireworks with my girlfriends, etc... (Yes. Fireworks. On my
birthday. They are, of course, in honor and celebration of Memorial
Day and our lost soldiers and servicemen and women, but I secretly
like to think they are for me too in celebration of this grand
occasion in my own life. I'm allowed to think that, right??)
I don't just mean all that.
I mean me.
Pure and simple- I have gotten better.
I was once so “sick”-
inside and out, but SO MUCH has changed for me over the course of the
last year of my life. I have gotten better. I have rediscovered,
uncovered, buried, dusted off, settled, accepted, cherished,
remembered, recognized, and appreciated.
I have changed. I have
grown. I am content now.
I'll never understand why our
God is so patient, and gentle, and loving with His kids.
I sure am
glad He is though. It feels good to feel good again.
It feels good to wake up smiling.
Here's to 35!!
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
